This is going to be good

I keep seeing drawings and crafty creations around the house that suddenly seem like they were done by a little kid. And stepping off the bus this afternoon will be a big kid.

Will she be the same? Will she still love to make fun from nothing and curl up on my knee when she’s tired?

We’ve had lunch. The house is quiet and empty and Maeve is asking again when the bus will be here. She ate some of her sandwich then asked if she could have a bath (because that’s what you do when you’re two and not quite sure what to do with yourself. I bet, if she could, she’d write).

‘My fren ten is in here,’ she announced as she sat up one end of the bath and left plenty of room at the other end for her ‘pretend friend’.

Elsie caught the bus this morning. She actually squealed with delight when she saw it coming down the road; she’s seen it go around the corner for years and was starting to call it her bus.

As it pulled away we waved. Maybe she did too, but we couldn’t see her (she was too short to see out the window).

Then Anthony looked like this:

And we both cried.

I followed the bus into town, watched the driver park the bus at the high school and walk her to another bus that waited to take her to her school.

When I met her at her school she was happy and eager to get in the gate.

‘Can we go in now, Mum?’ she asked, leading me toward the classroom.

She turned back to add, ‘This is going to be good, isn’t it, Mum?’

Good. Good? Today? The next 13 years?

Yes baby, it will be good. Sometimes you’ll love it. Maybe sometimes you’ll hate it. Sometimes you’ll love me, maybe sometimes you’ll hate me. Right now you enjoy me walking with you to the bus. One day you’ll wish I’d walk a few steps behind. You’ll make lots of friends, probably lifelong ones, and you’ll learn more than how to read and write. I was proud of you stepping onto that big bus and choosing a seat and I’ll be proud of every milestone you reach after this one. Most before now, we’ve reached together. Most from now on will be yours alone.

And now I might go and have a bath or something.


15 thoughts on “This is going to be good

  1. Oh Larissa,
    Reading that made me feel emotional! Only 20 more minutes from now our girls will be finished their first day. I love how they were so confident, and I hope they come home the same way (which I’m sure they will). I’m really glad they have each other. It will be easier for us poor old parents tomorrow 🙂
    Your pictures are great, they really capture the moment.


    1. Let’s hope they do come home with the same excitement, or at least have it tomorrow morning if they’re too tired tonight. Thanks. I’m sure they’ll be great buddies, what a cool little class. Enjoy your carbonara.


    1. She never has liked or worn socks and some days it’s worth the fight, but not today! She started out with them on but I could see it was going to change EVERYONE’S morning for the worse, so I whipped them off and put them in her backpack!


  2. Oh gosh Larissa, love your last two pieces. Reminds me of the exact feelings I had this time last year ( ). And I hate to say it, but one year later, it hasn’t improved! Me that is, not Leo, like Elsie he adores the excitement of school and all that goes with ‘being grown up’. But for me it was just as hard starting Grade One today and saying goodbye all over again after hanging out together all the holidays, maybe Grade Two will be better.


    1. Thanks Rose, I’ve just enjoyed having a look around your blog (thanks for the link) and your photography site – gorgeous stuff. Oh dear, really? It doesn’t get any easier? Congratulations also on your Australia Day Award and recognition from one of your inspirations – what an exciting honour. Well done!


      1. Thanks Larissa, I had forgotten about that stuff. My blog is very ad-hoc and neglected because when I found a job where I could write all this stuff in the paper and get paid for it, I kind of didn’t need to blog anymore. I started a separate one for our trip to Darwin last year. I love your posts. Funny that for the first time in a long time I felt the need to blog yesterday with Delilah and Leo both starting kinder and school. That need to write can drive me bananas sometimes, nice to know I am not the only one with that unexplained feeling of having to write!


  3. Oh wow…you have done it again Larissa! I am sitting here blubbering away as I read this….and Bill is watching (as men do) and waiting for me to stop so we can play a game of scrabble!!!!
    I love it…what you have written brought back the memories for me with each of my girls!
    Thankyou so much for giving me such pleasure…I love the photos…xx


    1. Funny photo of her, but I still loved all the empty seats on the bus! It stops right out the front (almost meet it in my pyjamas… Couldn’t I?). Hope A and X have settled back in xx


  4. My dear, dear Larissa – I feel for you. It is sooo hard to let someone your have had under your watch and care, nutured, made decisions for, was their witness – 24/7 for the last 5 or so years and then just let them go not knowing what is happening in their little world for the next 6 hours – without our input!!! And we as mothers are expected to be ok with this! That first time when we are separated from our children leaves such an empty feeling and a reoccuring one. I am fortunate my boys go to a small rural school where I know the teachers, most of the students, the bus picks them up at our gateway and I live only ten minutes away. Great photos – as they say – “a picture says a thousand words”!


    1. You’ve described it perfectly! And don’t you just want to know every little detail of that 6 hours once they get home and you can’t find out a thing. We’re the same with a little school which is perfect for Elsie, not too overwhelming. Thanks again for your lovely contribution. Hope your boys have settled back in nicely to their school.


  5. Hi Larissa,
    I have just found your blog via the blogging library and wanted to check it out. The very first post of yours that I read was this one and I found your writing style quite appealing. I definitely enjoyed reading through it all and I must say, it made me emotional too even though we have a little bit more to go before the ‘big day’ with our babies. Well done!


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