One minute she has her hand on my shoulder to steady herself as she steps into her little, navy leggings. The next minute she’s driving on a country road towards a semi-trailer; the lives of the truck driver and the 420 lambs he’s transporting hang in the balance with my life and her own. Four … Continue reading Do you want to drive?
Five months on
Luckily for Anthony, he got to see Mum in a dream last night. Part of me was pleased for him. I knew that was the kind thing to feel. In his dream, she walked in to our lounge and sat by the fire. She wanted to sort out my health. She had a pen and … Continue reading Five months on
‘But you don’t look sick.’
On cross country or swimming sports days, probably the athletics days too, I’d always choose a pain in the belly as my complaint. Mum wouldn’t be able to say, ‘Well, you don’t look sick.’ And as a further stroke of genius, she couldn’t prove that I didn’t have one. If she took me in to … Continue reading ‘But you don’t look sick.’
Motherless daughter
I was in a jeweller’s shop before Christmas. As I reached across the counter to take the earrings that the sales assistant was showing me, she gasped and commented on the rings on my fingers. ‘They were my mum’s,’ I said. ‘She died…’ I looked down and twisted one of the rings to its correct … Continue reading Motherless daughter
Another one down
The night before is hard. And Mother’s Day morning. They’re the times when the rubbing it in feels the worst and I can't tell whether I'm going to celebrate Mother's Day or endure it. I don't suppose I hate Mother's Day. I know I said I did on the floor in the shower that morning. … Continue reading Another one down
Eleven years ago this happened
I was used to pregnancies ending early. At six or twelve weeks. And if they lasted longer than that, I was used to delivering early. At 18 weeks. Or at 24. So when Maeve was born after 40 weeks, big and round and full-term, I could hardly believe the size of her. She weighed eight … Continue reading Eleven years ago this happened
Letting go again
If it’s true that the death of a loved one tops the list of the five most stressful life experiences, then it must surely be followed in second place by sorting and emptying out that loved one’s wardrobe. Bathroom cupboard. Bedside table. Mum’s red glasses. Her toothbrush. Her slippers and dressing gown. The things that … Continue reading Letting go again
‘Thank you for your generous donation’
When Mum died I found great comfort in the quote that grief is love with no place to go. So true, I cried. ‘She’s still with you, mate,’ Anthony would say. What did he mean? She’s f&%#ing not though, is she? She’s in the ground. That’s what I wanted to say. But this week, I … Continue reading ‘Thank you for your generous donation’
An apple for the teacher
It was going swimmingly. Our first day. Actually it wasn't their first day of home learning; it was my first being home with them. Elsie was kneeling in front of the fire balancing her computer on her knees. Maeve had set herself up at the kitchen table. Perhaps tomorrow we could set up something a … Continue reading An apple for the teacher
Writing by Larissa Patton 