I was in a jeweller’s shop before Christmas. As I reached across the counter to take the earrings that the sales assistant was showing me, she gasped and commented on the rings on my fingers. ‘They were my mum’s,’ I said. ‘She died…’ I looked down and twisted one of the rings to its correct … Continue reading Motherless daughter
Another one down
The night before is hard. And Mother’s Day morning. They’re the times when the rubbing it in feels the worst and I can't tell whether I'm going to celebrate Mother's Day or endure it. I don't suppose I hate Mother's Day. I know I said I did on the floor in the shower that morning. … Continue reading Another one down
Letting go again
If it’s true that the death of a loved one tops the list of the five most stressful life experiences, then it must surely be followed in second place by sorting and emptying out that loved one’s wardrobe. Bathroom cupboard. Bedside table. Mum’s red glasses. Her toothbrush. Her slippers and dressing gown. The things that … Continue reading Letting go again
‘Thank you for your generous donation’
When Mum died I found great comfort in the quote that grief is love with no place to go. So true, I cried. ‘She’s still with you, mate,’ Anthony would say. What did he mean? She’s f&%#ing not though, is she? She’s in the ground. That’s what I wanted to say. But this week, I … Continue reading ‘Thank you for your generous donation’
It was a fun party after all
It feels a bit like musical chairs at a birthday party. All the kids run and squeal and when the music stops they plonk down on a chair and hold the seat of it with both hands, joy and pride clear on their safe little faces. And the one kid who misses out smiles weakly … Continue reading It was a fun party after all
Expected and unexpected grief triggers
Dear Mum, I was just thinking back to this day last year when three of your girlfriends arrived at your house with morning tea, announcing that they hadn’t missed one of your birthdays yet. I took candid photos of you all laughing so hard that each of you had to pull a tissue from your … Continue reading Expected and unexpected grief triggers
Another first down
Tough day at the office. Really tough. Mother’s Day started beautifully. I lay in bed listening to pancakes being made in the kitchen. Elsie and Maeve had brought in a colourful menu full of options and I ticked pancakes because kids like pancakes and I waited in bed because kids like serving breakfast in bed … Continue reading Another first down
Perhaps it was a sign
We teach our kids not to wipe their runny noses on their sleeves. But if you’re at the cemetery visiting your mum’s grave to see the headstone for the first time and you don’t have a tissue, then it’s permitted. Would it be ‘her’ headstone instead of ‘the’ headstone? I would rather we were debating … Continue reading Perhaps it was a sign