The night before is hard. And Mother’s Day morning. They’re the times when the rubbing it in feels the worst and I can't tell whether I'm going to celebrate Mother's Day or endure it. I don't suppose I hate Mother's Day. I know I said I did on the floor in the shower that morning. … Continue reading Another one down
When Mum died I found great comfort in the quote that grief is love with no place to go. So true, I cried. ‘She’s still with you, mate,’ Anthony would say. What did he mean? She’s f&%#ing not though, is she? She’s in the ground. That’s what I wanted to say. But this week, I … Continue reading ‘Thank you for your generous donation’
It was going swimmingly. Our first day. Actually it wasn't their first day of home learning; it was my first being home with them. Elsie was kneeling in front of the fire balancing her computer on her knees. Maeve had set herself up at the kitchen table. Perhaps tomorrow we could set up something a … Continue reading An apple for the teacher
Sadly, we now know that Danny Frawley’s devastating death yesterday was not an accident. Frawley was respected for his willingness to share publicly his ongoing battle with depression. In a long list of great achievements, he is being remembered for using his profile to remove the stigma associated with depression. Today is World Suicide Prevention … Continue reading Raising awareness of suicide prevention
I woke this morning at the same time that Mum took her last breath 12 months ago. I remember every detail about that moment. In fact, I can recall, hour by hour, every detail of the two days leading up to it. Apparently, the cortisol released by our bodies in times of stress embeds memory … Continue reading The first year
We teach our kids not to wipe their runny noses on their sleeves. But if you’re at the cemetery visiting your mum’s grave to see the headstone for the first time and you don’t have a tissue, then it’s permitted. Would it be ‘her’ headstone instead of ‘the’ headstone? I would rather we were debating … Continue reading Perhaps it was a sign
The thing about grief that I can see, is there really isn’t much to look forward to in the process. If you’re pregnant and sick, you know that it will all be over in nine months. If you have a cold or a headache, you might take something for it and hope that it goes … Continue reading Grief is love with no place to go.
‘I don’t want this to be over.’ That’s how I used to think during the last couple of days of a holiday. Despite the warm sun on my face and the family time and the choice of ice cream flavours, I’d be disappointed that we had only two days left. And I’d mope a little … Continue reading To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world.
Probably worse than running out of milk when you live on a farm is running out of the chemicals your brain produces to cope with stress. Worse than depleted water tanks is depleted resilience. Last month I had what they would have once called 'a nervous breakdown’. In an era unwilling to openly discuss mental … Continue reading One in 4 people will experience a mental health condition this year – I was that one. And this is what it was like.