I woke this morning at the same time that Mum took her last breath 12 months ago. I remember every detail about that moment. In fact, I can recall, hour by hour, every detail of the two days leading up to it. Apparently, the cortisol released by our bodies in times of stress embeds memory … Continue reading The first year
We teach our kids not to wipe their runny noses on their sleeves. But if you’re at the cemetery visiting your mum’s grave to see the headstone for the first time and you don’t have a tissue, then it’s permitted. Would it be ‘her’ headstone instead of ‘the’ headstone? I would rather we were debating … Continue reading Perhaps it was a sign
The thing about grief that I can see, is there really isn’t much to look forward to in the process. If you’re pregnant and sick, you know that it will all be over in nine months. If you have a cold or a headache, you might take something for it and hope that it goes … Continue reading Grief is love with no place to go.
‘I don’t want this to be over.’ That’s how I used to think during the last couple of days of a holiday. Despite the warm sun on my face and the family time and the choice of ice cream flavours, I’d be disappointed that we had only two days left. And I’d mope a little … Continue reading To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world.
Probably worse than running out of milk when you live on a farm is running out of the chemicals your brain produces to cope with stress. Worse than depleted water tanks is depleted resilience. Last month I had what they would have once called 'a nervous breakdown’. In an era unwilling to openly discuss mental … Continue reading One in 4 people will experience a mental health condition this year – I was that one. And this is what it was like.
At uni, we used to stay up all night to study before an exam. My friends and I lived in a farmhouse and if we were 'pulling an all-nighter', we’d make each other instant coffees until we were buzzing and delirious. One night, we got in a car and drove to another farmhouse, turning off … Continue reading No wonder leaving things to the last minute is so popular
Today I’m googling ‘how to talk to kids about the death of a pet’. I have til school finishes today to prepare. With a bit of luck, my tears may have slowed down enough that I can actually speak. Get the words out. Tell them that Daisy died today. I wrote recently about losing our … Continue reading And that’s a wrap. Thanks Daisy.
They say nothing teaches us more about life than death. It’s a paradox, isn’t it? Death reminds us of what’s important and beautiful in life. Lately, we’ve been slapped with a reminder to count our blessings. Sit down and count. There are many. Whatever you were whingeing about earlier doesn’t seem like such a big … Continue reading Count your blessings
‘I can’t. We’ve just got so much on right now, I’ll start next month.’ ‘I’d love to, but I’ve really got to get this done. Maybe tomorrow?’ ‘I want to, but what if it doesn’t work?’ ‘I can’t actually be bothered. I’m exhausted. I got up to the kids three times last night. Maybe I’ll … Continue reading Just start