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And Madeit agrees

Posted on August 19, 2011 by Larissa

Seems I’m not the only one who loves a splash of red. Delighted to discover my red jersey dress in a ‘Splash of Red Finds’ on www.madeit.com.au. How cool is that…

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And on Instagram

26 years of friendship. What more could you want? #thebearandthewhale

Reading Sarah Ferguson’s reflection on mothers and daughters (I would write my own if it didn’t hurt so much yet). And working to leave the same legacy for these two as my mum did for me. #thebearandthewhale #motherdaughter #sarahferguson #canwrite #griefislovewithnoplacetogo

Maeve (two weeks ago): Do we have any books about pandas? {must want to wear panda onesie to Book Week} Me: No. But you could write one. Maeve: Are you allowed to do that? Me: Yes, and it would be so awesome if you wrote a book about pandas and took it to Book Week. Maeve: You think you’re a writer - you should write it. Me: 😳 {writes book} #thebearandthewhale #bookweek #talkedaboutwritingforyears #finallyactuallywrotesomething #thanksmaeve #😳nomore

The thing about grief that I can see, is there really isn’t much to look forward to in the process. If you’re pregnant and sick, you know that it will all be over in nine months. If you have a cold or a headache, you might take something for it and hope that it goes away. I’m only seven weeks in to the grief process, and from all accounts, including mine, the first few months are crap and then with time, it’s only ever going to get less crap. The loss is forever. It’s the job of the grieving process to get your head around the loss and learn to live with it. I’m guessing that at some point, as the acute grief subsides, I might be interested in life again, but as a different person. Sadder and different. Right now, I can’t separate the loss from the grief and it feels like they’ll both last forever. I’ve been reading about grief and talking to people who know it. I understand that the first few weeks after Mum’s death involved some sort of denial or buffer of disbelief that allowed me to function through the following weeks. We’re equipped with a defence mechanism to soften the blow. But that can’t last forever and it was four weeks later when a pain so deep and with a magnitude beyond words slammed denial out of the way and made itself at home. In my mind and in my heart. It causes actual physical pain in my head and chest and lets other emotions have only a brief turn at the forefront before smacking them out of the way and proceeding to suffocate. Guilt, sadness, joy and peace have all had a turn. I always loved and admired my mum’s hands. Her olive skin, her slender fingers and the shape of her nails. The tendons and the visible raised blood vessels on the backs of her hands, just like my own. Since her death I have been wearing her rings. I love the rings themselves, but more than that, they remind me of my mum’s hands, and they remind me of my parents’ love for each other, and the calm and loving home they created for us. (Blog post continued below in Comments) #thebearandthewhale #grief #griefjourney

Another happy client at Larissa’s Hair Donation Salon #thebearandthewhale #dontlooktooclose #hairdonation #cureforcancer

Blog update - To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. Link in my bio. #thebearandthewhale #blogupdate #mum #carriesbeanies4braincancer

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